I’ll never forget the moment a hitting coach suggested that I “do it like Manny.” I was never Manny Ramirez, nor would I ever have that level of hitting talent. Trying to emulate him was not an efficient use of my time. I was much better served finding the best version of my own stroke. Additionally, comparing my offensive prowess to the best right-handed hitter of a generation was an act destined to make me feel inadequate. Chyna Bardarson is building her brand as an on air personality with a focus on sports, fitness, wellness and nutrition. As such, she has the daunting challenge of being compared to the established women in her industry. She’s ready. Her mind is strong. She’s been tested. I’ll let her tell you.
“Comparison is the thief of Joy.”
No quote inspires me more than this one.I’ve always been interested in and passionate about health and fitness. I may only be in my twenties, but I feel like I’ve learned so much about these goals. Growing up steeped in technology and then developing a career during the social media age, I have really observed and understood what drives people to improve their health and fitness. Unfortunately, most of those motivations come from comparing themselves to others. Analyzing why so many people struggle with maintaining proper health is a fairly simple exercise – they are exhausted from struggling to measure up to some external ideal.
The media splashes dozens of fad diets and workout trends across the airwaves and magazine covers within a year – scratch that, within a month. You could be pulled in several different directions when trying to follow what society tells deems as best for you at the time. Social media, when used improperly, floods your newsfeed with everyone’s perfectly edited and impeccably lighted photos of beach bodies.
During my college years, I experienced the freedom to become whoever I wanted to be. This also meant that I had the freedom to become whoever society wanted me to be instead. The trend at the time was baggy sweaters and leggings. The outfits looked cute on the models, but my athletic build didn’t look as good in those darn leggings. I was almost certainly stronger and healthier than those models, but I could only look in the mirror and see that I wasn’t good enough.
I felt the pressure to chase those trends. I ate a little less, ran a little more. I got to the point where those clothes fit the same on me. I only had to sacrifice 20 lbs. of healthy muscle, my endurance and my integrity. I gained even more insecurities. I didn’t like myself any more, not one bit. I was weak, mentally and physically. Shopping for clothes was even worse than before. Instead of draping my curves, they hung off of me. I guess the grass is always greener on the other side. I would have done anything to get my old body back. Angry at myself for giving in to society’s lies, I worked hard on gaining the weight back in a healthy matter.
Experience is the greatest teacher, and boy did I learn my lesson. I thought being able to wear the latest fashion, forcing myself into the box society was shoving at me, would make me happy; all it did was make me unhealthy and miserable. Now, I am passionate about helping other people release their fears and negativity.
It all begins with these few simple questions: What is beauty and who has it? Where does our standard of beauty come from? Who gets the final say? Not only is it difficult to answer these questions, but quite frankly, it is impossible to begin to narrow down the answer. Is it even possible to determine something as “objectively beautiful” when the values of beauty are constantly shifting?
There is nothing wrong with showing off the hard work it takes to get those perfect bikini bodies or well-defined six pack. For the people in a vulnerable position seeing those pictures, however, it can be less than inspiring. Ever feel like an outcast for not looking the same way, for not following the same diet as others, for not training with the same workout plan as others? We live in a society where we are assaulted daily with unrealistic standards of beauty, trying to stay confident through constant attacks on our self-image. Why are we so focused on vanity rather than so many other positive attributes that health and fitness can bring someone?
This is where the problem originates. Rather than choosing to focus on what works best for our body, we focus on what our celebrity idols eat, sleep and breathe to achieve their bodies. Tips and advice can be extremely helpful, but it’s simply that, advice. Often, those same celebrities achieve the magazine covers through crash diets, dangerous drugs, plastic surgery and the biggest shortcut of them all – Photoshop. Ultimately, I have learned that my body is in its best shape and my health is at its prime when I simplify my thoughts. I do not focus on what others do. I focus on what makes me feel good rather than what society endorsed diets force down my throat. However, I realize it is not always that easy to block out what the media is screaming at your insecurities.
Everyone is searching for love and acceptance. It would be nice if our media used their position in society to inspire our best selves, but that doesn’t bring in the advertising dollars the way pushing make up, beauty products and diet pills does. Unfortunately, we’re on our own. But there are some things you can do.
Before paving your personal fitness journey, ask yourself a few questions. What am I looking to get out of my workouts? Is it solely vanity and self-image based? Are you searching for improved strength, coordination, self-confidence and overall well-being? These questions are important because success has a different definition for each individual. If you first define what your success is, you will have a much better chance of achieving it.
It is very liberating to let go of the expectations of others, to create your own path and to rewire your motives in your health and fitness journey. Both your body and your mind will thank you for it. Life becomes simple again and passion is reawakened. I leave you with this; do not limit your fitness workouts and your eating habits to what others tell you. You are in your own lane on the track. Trust me, you won’t finish the race any quicker by always checking over your shoulder to see how the others are doing. In fact, this will only slow you down or throw you off course. Find your success by discovering what you love, discovering what is effective and doing it. Being yourself when the world is trying to make you into someone else is one of the greatest accomplishments you can achieve.
Kevin McNeil. says
Good post but does it apply to skinny calves?
Now a re-Kap, not always having time to post.
Belated happy birthday.
I’m a big fan of the Cressey Performance blog and would be very interested to hear his thoughts on 5×5. Noticed that Corey Kluber has Eric write a program for him. I had my trainer at UCSD work 5×5 into my current program and squatted my weight for the first time this week. Looked all thru your 5×5 and couldn’t find the Dynamax ball or the cross over lunges on the beach but love the addition.
Next, neck pain, usually a symptom of a problem in the postural chain. Misalignment in the hips, T-spine or shoulders can all lead to tension in the neck. Hope you’re not wasting water doing those neck stretches. Recommend reading Pete Egoscue’s book, Pain Free or Kelly Starett’s, The Supple Leopard. I suspect Eric is a K Star fan but still have not heard your comment on it.
Love the discussion and the chance for some sarcasm.
Hope you cheated on your B day.
Gabe Kapler says
Love this, Kevin. Thanks for the chuckle.
Ryan Ross says
“Your time is limited, don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living the result of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinion drowned your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition, they somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” – Steve Jobs
“Do not go where the path may lead, go where there is no path and leave a trail.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
Great post Chyna & Gabe! I think the aforementioned quotes emulate and signify this post. Thank you for dropping that knowledge on us. It feels liberating when you can “define you” and be successful. My parents always taught me to be unique when I was growing up and its something that I keep with me until this day. It will also be something I carry forward and infuse into my kids one day.I love thinking outside the box and being different. It has been one of the components and traits in my life that has helped me be successful.
Have a great weekend!
Gabe Kapler says
Great job bringing a relevant and useful post to the group, Ryan. Appreciate it very much.
billstraehl says
This supports something I have recently discovered, when reflecting on current and past decisions I have made in my life, to trust my instincts. In virtually every area of my life, when I do what I think is the proper course of action, listen to myself instead of blindly following others, I am never wrong. That doesn’t mean I don’t listen to others-actually almost the opposite. I do want information, so I can make well-informed decisions. But when it comes down to actually turning right or left, I’ll trust my gut. The worst that can happen is that I will learn what I don’t know, and that’s always easier coming from myself.
Gabe Kapler says
Nice, Bill. Thank you.
Duane says
A post that hits us all one way or another. I try to always think positive about what I’m doing to keep healthy and fit. I get those days where I think “I could have done that workout harder ” then I tell myself ” work harder on the next one”. I never compare myself to others or care what others think because I compete so hard with myself! There are 3 thoughts in my head that constantly push me:
1. My father died of a heart attack at 31.
(Didn’t want this to happen to me)
2. My mother raised 2 kids on her own and died at 54. (Don’t want to disappoint her hard work and want to live to be a grandfather)
3. United States Marine Corp.
( the discipline and motivation to never fail)
Even with these 3 it’s not always easy and I hear the the things that Chyna is talking about here at work and it’s hard to hear and even tougher to convince a co-worker that they a fine and just need to keep at it and don’t give up. You can’t help or support your family if your health suffers. Outstanding guest post again! Thank you Chyna!! Kap you just keep coming strong!!
Gabe Kapler says
Duane, your positive vibes are always appreciated.
Kenny says
Great post! Nuff said
Gabe Kapler says
Sometimes, simple is just right, Kenny. Thanks.
Paul says
Reminds me of the quote I put in my high school yearbook nearly 30
years ago: “No one can bring you happiness but yourself”. Many similar
quotes exist expressing the same point.
Gabe Kapler says
Bringing back the high school yearbook. Well played, Paul.
lonnie galate says
Chyna, great article; such truths to be told and you did. Thank you.
Gabe Kapler says
Thanks for contributing, Lonnie.
Kat says
“Comparison is the thief of joy” that is going on my mirror! Thanks
Gabe Kapler says
Appreciate you, Kat.
Kelebek says
I think everyone can relate to this post so I applaud Chyna for sharing and Kap for posting. It took me a long time to give up on the pressure of comparisons and just be me. No media pressure to look a certain a way, no peer pressure to wear a particular fashionable style, and no inner comparisons either. Being the healthiest person I can be is all about being a better butterfly (Kelebek). I remember someone posting on my Facebook wall the quote “Be Yourself, because everyone else is taken”-Simply put but true.
Thanks for the inspiration!
-Kelebek
Gabe Kapler says
Love that quote, Kelebek. Thank you.
noeasyjourneytothetop says
Great post! It’s so easy to compare yourself to others these day with the constant shirtless selfie posting and insane workouts people are doing all over social media. Ignore the noise, do what’s best for you!