If you’d like to be happier, savor your pleasurable moments with intensity.
If you spend some time with me, you might get sick of hearing me talk about how much I appreciate wind. I dig the sound it makes as it whips through the trees. I genuinely light up when I get to fall asleep listening to it. It’s music to me. Nauseous yet? Good. That means I’m on the right track. From Huffington Post:
Savoring is the ability to prolong and stretch enjoyment or positive emotional experiences. It’s the difference between wolfing down a meal versus lingering over every bite. It relates to how much time you spend sitting in front of a sunset (if you even stop at all).
We all know this. “Mindfulness” and “being present” is all the rage. So what stops us from savoring our experiences? Time stands in our way. We trick ourselves into thinking we don’t have enough of it. We all enjoy our days differently, but we often don’t slow down enough to truly dig into our most pleasurable moments.
Scientists have consistently found that the ability to savor promotes happiness. Which makes sense. The more you can prolong positive emotional experiences, the more positive emotions are filling up your day. In fact, the tendency to savor benefits individuals across the lifespan: studies show it predicts the subjective well-being for grade school children, adolescents, college students and the elderly.
There is a simple adjustment to be made, even if your days are full. Talk loudly and openly about what gets you off. If you’re trumpeting, you’ll be appreciating. Call a compatriot from the car during a commute and gush about something, anything.
Sharing at every stage (anticipation, experience, reminiscence) helps enhance our enjoyment–this can mean talking to others, writing about it or sharing on social media.
While running sprints recently, I peered over at a large grassy field. Some dudes were out flying remote control airplanes. I can’t think of an activity personally less appealing, but I’ve seen folks over the years engaging in the hobby. While toys don’t make me tick, I bet these pilots would rant and rave about it if asked, and they should.
Every morning, I anticipate cracking my eggs. I can’t wait to see the color, shape and size of the yolk. I spend an unreasonable amount of energy digging on my eggs. I tell friends and family how bright the yellow is and describe the rich flavor pop. I rave about the local farm that houses the chickens.
Don’t be the punk who is too cool to admit you appreciate the beauty the world has to offer. You’re just depriving yourself of pleasure and ultimately losing the opportunity to achieve a deeper level of happiness.
If you need me, I’ll be listening to a symphony of crashing waves and crickets.
Kap
Susan Altman says
I have always cherished that view in the picture you posted. I agree, savor the small things and enjoy them always. You never know when they might disappear….
Duane says
Very well put Susan!!
Gabe Kapler says
Thank you, Susan, for the continual support. And Duane, always dependable.
billstraehl says
You’re so right Gabe. I’ve got a tree. Great big, huge sprawling oak. I could just gaze at it for hours. Can’t believe the people that pass by and don’t even notice it! I might suggest to people, budget some savoring into each day. If you’re lucky, it might eventually become a habit. Always a good idea to stop and smell the roses!
Gabe Kapler says
Dig that, Bill.
Richie says
I savor every moment with my kids, especially with my son who is autistic. Logan is limited verbally, yet when he does say a word or puts together a sentence it is usually the sweetest sound. Keep up the good work my 4.5% brother!
Gabe Kapler says
Thank you for stopping by, Richie.
Eoin says
Hey Kap,
To quote a film I always savor “life moves pretty fast, if you don’t stop & look around once in a while you might miss it”. Great reminder, I’m holding my 10 month old in my arms after a long day at work, got to enjoy these moments & glad to share it with you.
Eoin
Gabe Kapler says
Strong, Eoin. Thank you.
Bryan says
I had a conversation with a friend about this subject, especially as it pertains to photography after watching that Walter Mitty movie. There’s a scene where this famous photographer forgoes snapping a certain frame to indulge in the moment, ‘That one is for me.’
With the prevalence of camera-bearing gadgets, we see scenes through the LCD instead of our own two eyes. I’d rather forgo the lens and enjoy the experience of being at that place, at that time, seeing that sight. Beautiful.
Gabe Kapler says
Wax poetic much? Nicely done, Bryan.
David says
My oldest in going off to school after this year to play college baseball…….I am trying to savor every moment with him, even all the clothes on his bedroom floor! Kap, I look forward to your blog everyday. Keep it up and thank you.
Gabe Kapler says
Appreciate the kind words, David.
~Al~ says
People often tell me how overwhelmed they are with all the things they have to do. My response to them is that I’ve never come close to checking off my to do list, and don’t plan on it. Handle the business that must be done to keep the lights on and your belly full, do the rest when your heart is in it. My happy place is standing outside on a crystal clear night during a snow storm. Then carving the powder on a snowmobile. It’s the most fun I can have with (many) clothes on.
~Al~
kbeyazdancer says
I like your philosophy Al
Gabe Kapler says
Sounds majestic, Al.
Cesar says
Ah, I used to be the guy that was on the cynical side of things, and its a tough hole to climb out of..I was the guy that was too cool too appreciate the things around me. But as I grow older (I’m 33 now) I began seeing that if I was happy, I was going to show happiness, and while its tough at first if you are image conscious, it gets better, and I think that’s when I truly started being happier. There are other people who feel the same way, and if they don’t, either you find some more positive people, or you can also rub off some of that happiness on them if they see you are unwavering…Any thoughts on this?
Gabe Kapler says
You risked your image and made progress, Cesar. Impressive.
Doug Anderson says
There are many things I could go on about savoring, some of which are with my wife. So I will tell her about them later since apparently that’s a good thing to do…
To pick one that I can share is the sound of water(ocean, river, creek, etc.) The crashing of waves, water slapping the bottom of the boat/kayak/surfboard…that just does it for me.
Another thing that got me thinking was about the photographs like Bryan was describing, I feel you could say the same about music. Being at a concert the other day and people using the phone to record their favorite song…take it in “live”, that’s the reason you’re there…stop staring at your phone and take in the great live music, as it should be.
Gabe Kapler says
Appreciate you bringing a strong take, Doug.
Gavin says
Excellent job of conveying the importance of appreciation, awareness. It comes easy for me to be this way when outside, in nature. Crave being outdoors. Need to practice this mindset when confined by walls. You’ve got eggs. Perhaps I’ll fall back on reliable jalapeno pepper. At work… maybe the opportunity afforded me to be rewarded as a direct result of performance/effort. Definitely more challenging inside. Today, I truly appreciate the very distinctive lifestyle messages that find my inbox daily. It is often the most constructive, uplifting piece of my day.
Gabe Kapler says
I’m so honored, Gavin. Thanks.
darby wright says
Early in morning 530. Quiet time. Its the best
Gabe Kapler says
Believe that, Darby.
MIchelle says
Thanks for appreciating me. I feel neglected with all the love egg whites receive.
Sincerely,
Egg Yolks
Gabe Kapler says
Well done….scratch that, over medium.
kbeyazdancer says
Beautiful picture! makes me want to lay out on a blanket and feel the breeze against my skin.
I used to be a serious over thinker and checklist (I had checklists everywhere, even in my car). My father used to say that I would think myself into a frenzy. I was that way for a long time until my accident and it changed my life in so many ways. Taking to time to savior little things no matter how small they are, really feels good.
You describing the wind isn’t nauseating to me (don’t laugh) because that’s what I did just before I even saw this post. I usually go and sit by myself during lunch under our butterfly tree here and put on my eye mask and just listen to the wind. Nothing each. Just listening. I put my phone on vibrate and lay back. i can see some of the people inside the lab making fun of me with my mask on but I don’t care. I like doing that.
-Kelebek
Gabe Kapler says
Dig.
Chester says
Kap, this can be a daring subject. Love the comments — crashing of waves, water splashing on bottom of a kayak – good stuff. Sometimes however I am not sure how deep you want to go with a subject on that particular day. You could go a bucket deep, or perhaps as deep as a chasm. Today – whew, this sorta hits a note — I agree conceptually, but not perhaps perceptually. Here is my take.
Yes it is good to savor and lead others by example, or words, to savor. Hopefully and ideally this concept spreads to all people; this may even be a precept of organized religion. But there are folks who have been beaten up always, from early on. All they perceive are obstacles due to their situation. From their perspective, they may find it difficult to savor. Perceptually, they may find it difficult to trust the world, so how are they to learn, and who is to teach them, to share with them, this philosophy? How are these people going to find an example to teach them that life CAN be sweet IF they can somehow view the world from a different perspective?
I have joked about carrying around portable guilt in our pockets, but stronger than this is carrying around portable HOPE. Generally – maybe — people can HOPE to savor – hope to be in a sitch where they can be able to savor what is around them, where their eyes and heart are open enough to do so.
Thank you for the posts, for making our minds work.
Gabe Kapler says
And thank you for providing a counter perspective.
Davin says
Hey Kap,
Love the blog. Just discovered it a couple weeks ago and now look forward to the daily posts. This one struck a chord with me after my experience on my morning run today. The brisk fall air, autumn colors and a beautiful orange sunrise had me appreciating the incredible beauty of life, and time seemed to slow down. And to think I nearly hit the snooze button and skipped my run; what an experience I would have foregone for just a few extra minutes of sleep.
Keep up the great work!
Davin
Gabe Kapler says
Appreciate you dropping by and bringing your style, Davin. Hope to see you again.
Steve says
This is h
Steve says
This is how we stay in the NOW! By stopping and putting everything into perspective…appreciating the world for what it is and what it gives to us. Through gratitude we feel happiness. Happiness is the motive for why we do the things we do (assuming you make choices based on passion rather than societal norms). Doesn’t it feel like time stops when you stop and savor?
Become one with the universe and you will get everything you want.
Kap, what a great life post. Fires me up, brah.
Aloha.
#ThoughtsBecomeThings
#MassUp
Gabe Kapler says
Good shit, Steve.
M.squared says
Just wrapping a long one… And still need to hit the grocery store and some exercise…. Almost skipped today’s post… But so glad I did not….
I preface this by sharing:admitting that am one of those grind it out, overworked, often stressed out, folk……
That stated, a sunroof open, windows cracked, drive, on a sunny day, across the Bay Bridge is truly a serene site…. So much so that I need to remind myself that I am manning the wheel and need to glance ahead at the road infront of me every now and again.
This is just one thing i appreciate. There are many more, as i am truly a guy who savors the little things in life… ….Often though, I need a reminder.
Thanks Kap and all who posted today, for making me stop to think.
Read you mañana.
Gabe Kapler says
Look forward to it.
Patti Chastain says
I have just started stand up paddle boarding and I think the thing I love about it is the hour on the water with no interruptions and time to take is all of the beauty of the water and air! Love,
Love, Love your blog. Thank you.
Patti Chastain