If you need a quick and easy way to feel healthier, try saying thank you.
My ex-wife Lisa and I had a Carl’s Jr. fixation as teenagers. She’d grab a Western Bacon Cheeseburger and crisscut fries. I was all about the Santé Fe Chicken Sandwich (funny what passed as healthy back then). We’d approach the window in her black Nissan Sentra with the dent in the bumper, and I’d do the ordering. With all the charm of a cocky teenage boy, I laid out my list of demands. Her death glare came as I wrapped up my less than humble request. “You didn’t say thank you,” Lisa would say.
She went on to explain her position many times throughout 1993 until it finally sank in for me. I began to articulate my appreciation regularly. My grandfather isn’t sold. He believes being overly thankful to folks doing a job for you gives away the upper hand. I disagree with him. Saying thank you to others is an important part of caring for yourself. From berkeley.edu:
Recently scientists have begun to chart a course of research aimed at understanding gratitude and the circumstances in which it flourishes or diminishes. They’re finding that people who practice gratitude consistently report a host of benefits:
- Stronger immune systems and lower blood pressure
- Higher levels of positive emotions;
- More joy, optimism, and happiness;
- Acting with more generosity and compassion;
- Feeling less lonely and isolated.
We can all use those benefits in our lives. It’s not just about manners. Gratitude makes others feel respected. It is a give and take that makes the world a more negotiable space. Saying thank you makes folks want to continue to help you because they feel valued. It is a sensational motivator. A 2010 study set out to prove it. From psychcentral.com:
In the first study 69 participants were asked to provide feedback to a fictitious student called ‘Eric’ on his cover letter for a job application. After sending their feedback through by email, they got a reply from Eric asking for more help with another cover letter.
The twist is that half of them got a thankful reply from Eric and the other half a neutral reply. The experimenters wanted to see what effect this would have on participant’s motivation to give Eric any more help.
As you might expect, those who were thanked by Eric were more willing to provide further assistance. Indeed the effect of ‘thank you’ was quite substantial: while only 32% of participants receiving the neutral email helped with the second letter, when Eric expressed his gratitude, this went up to 66%.
I don’t mean to suggest that we should be disingenuous. Thanking folks for less than stellar effort is easy to sniff out and smacks of manipulation. I make sure that I express my appreciation with an accurate correlation to the work or help someone has provided. As we head toward the Thanksgiving holiday, exercise this muscle. Write down 2 or 3 things you feel grateful for every morning. From the New York Times:
Cultivating an “attitude of gratitude” has been linked to better health, sounder sleep, less anxiety and depression, higher long-term satisfaction with life and kinder behavior toward others, including romantic partners.
Gratitude for others creates an atmosphere of positive vibes and optimizes taking care of ourselves. Here at Kaplifestyle, we always try to check both boxes.
I appreciate you reading.
Damn, that felt good.
Kap
Lisa says
Thanks, Gabe!
Thanks, Lisa.
Thank YOU Gabe.Feeling better already.Nice work during the Series by the way.
Nice, brother. Thanks.
the more thanks we give means more things to be thankful for will enter our lives. Thanks Kap
Appreciate you, Chris.
“Gratitude makes others feel respected.” For that reason alone, one should show their gratitude. You never know, you could really make someone’s day and they could reap all of the benefits you mentioned above!
Thank you Gabe for making me smile today!
Kelebek
You too, Kelebek.
Thanks for writing this blog, it inspired me to write my own.
Dig, Hollie.
A total win-win scenario. Easiest way to feel better is to make someone else feel better. Thanks Gabe.
Grateful, Bill.
Kap,
Thanks for this blog and this article. While we are on this topic, expressing gratitude is essential to a happy life but we should never forget being able to receive and accept another’s gratitude is just important.
Nothing demonstrates and enhances the underlying commonality and oneness of our humanity as the ability share the good that is in all of us
Good twist, STF.
Not really your best post. I know you can do a lot better and should expect more from yourself. Just kidding.
Thanks for putting up with us.
My man. Thanks, Kevin.
My philosophy is to always quick with a thank you. Beyond helping others feel respected, it is a great verbal reminder to yourself to be thankful for help rather than taking it for granted.
Preach, Jon.
I know I frequently show gratitude to Kap (and edit girl and the grunt) but I very much appreciate the fellow followers of these daily posts. Like me, you come here to get some benefit from the many valuable nuggets posted, but often take the time to share many thoughts, insights and recommendations. You make coming to this home even more beneficial.
Shout out to Al. I came across this article today. Kap may have chimed in that day but he’s busy too, and may not have seen my comment. You saved me a few weeks…
https://www.yahoo.com/health/3-exercises-you-should-do-barefoot-101353186797.html
Edit girl - does that role that come with a cape?
The grunt? What does that role come with?
I was looking for a nickname for you both. Thanks, Ed.
Word, Ed!