In general, people prefer giving directions to strangers over giving advice. It’s science.
This classic joke was once rated as the world’s funniest (see, science):
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator says “Calm down. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says “OK, now what?”
Traditionally, I’ve used Yelp almost exclusively to find restaurants and landmark suggestions during my travels. Recently, I’ve been wondering if I’m missing something by not connecting with humans along the way. I’ve started mining the opinions of locals.
While running sprints in the tiny mountain town of Manitou Springs, just outside of Colorado Springs, I ran into a friendly woman gardening. We struck up a conversation. I asked her what I should see in her hometown. She quickly said, “Garden of the Gods.”
It sounded mildly interesting, and I asked her for more details. Without hesitation, she immediately began giving me walking directions. I had no clue what this special place was. I asked her again what I could expect to experience, and she continued to point out how I should travel there.
Ughhhh. First of all, I had no idea if I wanted to check the place out. Second, I had a huge phone in my hand capable of giving me step-by-step navigation should I decide to explore this mystery (garden?) scene. However, she graciously agreed to pose for a picture before we went our separate ways, making sure to remove her glasses and offering up a big smile.
Like in the joke above, the words used are not debatable but can be interpreted differently. Our expectations were mismatched – I wanted to know where to go, she wanted to tell me how to get there. I should have been clearer with my request and ensured my intention wasn’t misconstrued.
Most of my requests come down to similar things. Do you know of a place to get really good coffee? Do you know of a bar with wifi (sad, right)? I’m asking for recommendations, not instructions. When I do need instructions, I tend to be far more explicit in the request.
This may boil down to comfort. Humans tend to be far more confident in telling people how to do something rather than why they should. “Turn right and go east” is an easier thought than explaining a preference. We often find ourselves returning to the same restaurants, entertainment options or other thought patterns out of habit without considering the rationale. When someone asks us to dig deeper, our brains shy away from an answer. Step-by-step directions come out instead of analysis.
Perhaps it’s me, but I dig the answer to the question “why,” over the answer to the question “how.” Some introspection is in order here. For both of us.
Strong Mind,
Kap
