It’s Friday. I’m assuming more than a few of you are sitting at work, dreaming of starting the weekend. Although this is a blog devoted to promoting and improving your health and well-being, you know I’m no stranger to indulgences. In fact, I preach it. Depriving yourself consistently is ineffective, so I encourage and support you in your occasional cheat meal (or even day!) once in a blue moon.

In that spirit, I decided to list some of my favorites for the days when you purposefully lose control, go all out and induce a well-deserved food coma.

I present my top five cheat foods:

Maple Bars

I drool with Homer. When I was in 11^th grade, I’d ditch school with my best friend, smoke cigarettes, drink coffee and eat donuts (Thank you, Blinkie’s Donuts in Woodland Hills) while 1^st and 2^nd period slowly drifted by for my better-educated classmates. Yes, we were 16. We somehow got away with the behavior, and I fell in love with my favorite high school breakfast.

The sweet, smoky flavor of maple has always been one of my pleasures. Spread an icy, sugary glaze of the stuff over a fried bar of semi-sweet, airy dough and you’ve achieved pure bliss.

Price paid: 490 calories

Cheesecake

I used to be that guy, the one who went for all the crazy cheesecake flavors like Snickers or cookies and cream. If that’s your bag, I can’t argue with you. Now, I just desire plain, with a perfectly baked, crumbly crust, of course. Just do me a favor, and don’t cut me a sliver. If I’m going to indulge, I’m interested in a hunk. Pass the coffee, please.

Price paid: 870 calories for a slice of Oreo Cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory

Pizza

The toppings and style are less relevant. Meat lovers, supreme, deep dish, thin crust. It’s meat, cheese and bread, the perfect combo for caloric inhalation. Fine, since you’re holding my feet to the fire, I’ll go deep dish with spicy sausage and pineapple for a little sweet to counter the savory. Two slices? Nope. The whole pie.

Price paid: 1,500 calories for 5 slices at 300 calories a piece. I randomly selected a pizza company, as they vary in “nutritional” content.

Burgers

This is the category in which quality is most important. Top flight grass fed ground beef cooked to less than medium, sharp, pungent blue cheese, crisp salty bacon, creamy, fresh avocado, thick slices of red onion, crunchy cool lettuce, a dense, bready, toasted bun, ketchup, mustard and an ice cold Stella. Nothing further, your honor.

Price paid: 1,300 calories

Gelato

Ahhhh, the complexity of salted caramel gelato. Why does salt compliment caramel so well? Caramel alone is slightly too rich and decadent, but coupled with frozen cream and folding in just the right amount of sea salt makes for a near perfect dessert.

Price paid: 170 calories.

170 calories? That hardly seems like an indulgence at all! Except that is 170 calories for the ridiculous serving size of a ½ cup. That’s two bites. So if we project that out to my serving size of a pint…

Price paid: 680 calories.

Years ago, my brother and I had a full cheat day and ate like this for 12 hours. Go ahead, be a G, and squeeze these all into one full 24 hour cycle. I dare you to become my hero.

What are your favorite indulgences?

Loosen your belt,

Kap