Give others credit whenever possible. There is plenty of light to go around.
You may recall this post on the downsides of publicly seeking praise. By actively spotlighting another, you both benefit. From stevemarr.org.
Giving recognition and credit is great motivator, and one we lose when we take credit for others’ efforts and ideas. As we raise others up as part of our team, we also raise up ourselves.
I’d argue that this goes far beyond simply not taking credit for a teammate’s contributions. By shifting the focus of compliments and praise, you actively encourage the development and confidence of another. Often, we don’t do this. Scarcity of praise is a common misconception. We trick ourselves into thinking that if others are positively acknowledged, that should be threatening to us. The opposite is true.
Think about the athlete in the post-game interview specifically singling out a teammate for a strong contribution. It can be peer to peer, or in the following case, athlete to coach. From the LA Times:
Chris Paul had 17 assists in Thursday’s win, tying the assist total of the entire Nets team. He also entered an elite category, becoming one of three players in NBA history to finish with 17 assists in under 25 minutes. One of the other guys in that category is Doc Rivers, who turned the feat in 1987.
Said Paul: “Doc maybe was better than some of us thought he was, huh?”
Now, surely Paul was prompted. However, by transitioning the focus to Rivers, rather than himself, he did two things.
- He allowed his coach to stay in the spotlight a moment longer.
- He inadvertently illuminated the accomplishment while praising another.
What didn’t he do? He certainly didn’t lose any shine by sharing the moment. In fact, in this instance, Paul appears humorous, light hearted and like he learned something about the greatness of his coach, a former successful NBA player who will undoubtedly appreciate the nod when he reads it.
You don’t have to be a star athlete giving a post-game press conference to reap the benefits. This is true in all walks of life. You might find that your relationships with friends, family, and teammates are stronger for it. From a manuscript published in the Journal of Positive Psychology:
…all three other-praising emotions produced frequent free-response reports of ‘positive relationship’ motivations … In other words, the other-praising emotions motivate people to do things that create or strengthen relationships, particularly with virtuous or skillful people. Participants in our other-praising conditions noticed particular positive qualities about the other person (e.g., kindness), and …participants said that they gained respect for the other person.
Given our focus on health at Kaplifestyle, I would be remiss if I didn’t point out one other potential benefit of sharing praise. A focus supporting and encouraging others, instead of ourselves, may make you live longer. From Psychological Science:
Results from logistic regression analyses indicated that mortality was significantly reduced for individuals who reported providing instrumental support to friends, relatives, and neighbors, and individuals who reported providing emotional support to their spouse. Receiving support had no effect on mortality once giving support was taken into consideration.
It’s disarming to authentically point out the greatness of those around you. There is no need to make shit up. Just catch people doing phenomenal work and talk about it, unabashedly and out loud.
Advanced love for implementing this with a teammate of yours today.
Kap
Rick says
Great post Gabe.
This does remind me of your addicted to praise article.
Regarding Tito as how he relates to his players and coaches with praise.
Keep them coming. I look forward to your insight.
Gabe Kapler says
Thanks, Rick.
Chester says
Praise in public; reprimand in private.
Gabe Kapler says
Appreciate you, Chester.
bill says
In particular with new employees (or kids!), try to catch them…doing something right!
Gabe Kapler says
There you go, Bill.