I realized today that my 12 and 14 year old boys devour lots of bread. I’m a contributor to their flour fetish. Many mornings find me preparing breakfast sandwiches for them, which consist of organic bacon, eggs, grass fed butter and whole-wheat toast. I’m proud of everything but the last item. I know how processed that bread is.

There are certainly alternatives to the breakfast sandwich, so this is the perfect opportunity for kaplifestyle.com’s second rendition of “Eat this, not that…or that.”

Here’s a funny one floating around out there:

Hardee’s Monster Biscuit

• 640 calories
• 44 g fat (16 g saturated)
• 2,130 mg sodium
• 40 g carbohydrates

The “nutritional” metrics pale in comparison to the actual ingredients of this thing. Here are the (debatably) edible items that make up the sammy:

Biscuit, Scratch: Buttermilk: Cultured Nonfat Milk, Contains less than 1% of: Modified Food Starch, Corn Starch, Tapioca Starch, Locust Bean Gum, Carrageenan, Mono and Diglycerides, Salt, Sodium Citrate, Vitamin A Palmitate, and Vitamin D3.

Biscuit Mix : Enriched Bleached Flour (Wheat flour, Niacin, Reduced Iron, Thiamine Mononitrate, Riboflavin, Folic Acid), Partially Hydrogenated Soybean and/or Cottonseed Oil, Contains less than 2% of the following: Salt, Sugar, Monocalcium Phosphate, Sodium Aluminum Phosphate, Maltodextrin, Whey, Sodium Bicarbonate, Soy Lecithin. Biscuit Flour : Enriched bleached Flour (Wheat flour, Niacin, Reduced Iron, Thiamine Mononitrate, Riboflavin, Folic Acid), Salt, Leavening (Sodium Bicarbonate, Monocalcium Phosphate, Sodium Aluminum Phosphate). Margarine, Liquid (for basting tops of biscuits) : Soybean Oil, Water,Salt, Hydrogenated Cottonseed Oil, Vegetable Mono and Diglycerides, Soybean Lecithin, Sodium Benzoate and Citric Acid, Artificial and Natural Flavors, Beta Carotene, Vitamin A Palmitate. Pan Coating: Soybean Oil, Soy Lecithin, Artificial Butter Flavor, Beta Carotene (color) and Propellant (Non Chlorofluorocarbon)

Bacon: Pork cured with Water, Salt, Sugar, Natural or Hickory Smoke flavoring, Sodium Phosphate, Sodium Erythorbate, Sodium Nitrite.

Egg : Whole Eggs, Citric Acid, 0.15% water added as carrier for Citric Acid, Citric Acid added to preserve color. Margarine, Liquid (for using on top of grill): Soybean Oil, Water, Salt, Hydrogenated Cottonseed Oil, Vegetable Mono and Diglycerides,Soybean Lecithin, Sodium Benzoate and Citric Acid, Artificial and Natural Flavors, Beta Carotene, Vitamin A Palmitate. Margarine, Liquid (to keep eggs from sticking on the grill): Soybean Oil, Water, Salt, Hydrogenated Cottonseed Oil, Vegetable Mono and Diglycerides, Soybean Lecithin, Sodium Benzoate and Citric Acid, Artificial and Natural Flavors, Beta Carotene, Vitamin A Palmitate.

Cheese, American: Cultured milk, Water, Cream, Sodium Citrate, Salt, Sodium Phosphate, Sorbic Acid (preservative), Artificial Color, Acetic Acid, Enzymes, Lecithin (soy).

Sausage Patty: Pork, Salt, Spices, Sugar, Monosodium Glutamate.

Ham, Sliced: Ham chunked and formed, Cured with Water, Contains 2% or less of Salt, Sugar, Sodium phosphate, Smoke Flavor, Sodium Erythorbate, Sodium Nitrite.

OMG. Totally eat this instead! (Disclaimer: Do not eat this instead.)

Frisco Breakfast Sandwich

• 430 calories
• 19 g fat (7 g saturated)
• 1,510 mg sodium
• 41 g carbohydrates
• 23 g protein
• 2 g fiber

I’ll spare you the 10,000 ingredients.

Instead, eat what I made for my son this morning.

Steak and potato breakfast scramble:

• 460 calories
• 35 g protein

1. Dice one small organic russet potato and 4 ounces of organic strip steak into small chunks. Season to taste with salt and garlic powder.
2. Melt a tablespoon of grass fed butter over medium-high heat.
3. Add the potatoes and cook until beginning to brown and crisp. Toss in the pan frequently.
4. Add steak and cook until medium (or desired doneness), about 5 minutes.

It is simple and scrumptious, with just over 1/3 of the ingredients in the Monster Biscuit’s cheese alone.

Hardee’s hates me,

Kap