Stressed? Consider this your official excuse to go get a rubdown. Stress kills and massage may significantly reduce stress. Booya, you’re justified.

I was at the studio earlier today prepping for my work at Fox Sports Live when I received an email from tonight’s producer, Zeus (he’s not Greek, he’s Turkish).

Don’t think we will have space for you today at Fox Sports Live with our Red White and Fight Features. You can focus on your MLB Whiparound [our nightly baseball highlight show] duties. If something changes based on tonight’s games, we will potentially come grab you.

Translation? “You’re not in the lineup tonight, kid, be ready to pinch hit.”

What Zeus didn’t know is that my Whiparound schedule had been altered, and I was on tomorrow rather than today. I had the whole night off. I touched base again with the powers that be and hit the road.

I’ve been going pretty hard since the baseball season began. I’m in studio most weekdays, and I write on the weekends. Not working doesn’t really register with me as a real thing that people do, but I opted to make the healthy decision and decompress.

The idea of grabbing some bodywork has been percolating for some time with me. It’s a necessary part of the supreme health quadrant (oh shit, now I have to come up with three other parts). From USA Today:

A review of studies that measured the stress hormone cortisol in people before and immediately after massage found the therapy lowered levels by up to about 50%. Massage also increased serotonin and dopamine, two neurotransmitters that help reduce depression. That may play into why massage has been shown to help people with anxiety disorders, to increase calm before surgery and to decrease stress and depression in cancer patients; in fact, a recent Turkish study found back massages given during chemotherapy significantly reduced anxiety and fatigue.

Zeus (he’s Turkish, remember?) will be thrilled.

FOX’s studios are in West Los Angeles, close to Century City, so I started by searching Yelp for just the right spot on Pico Boulevard. Four stars, 64 reviews and right on Pico brought me to Happy Relax Foot Massage.

Giggling, I pulled over. This was about to get weird. In the window was the greatest sell ever, $15 for an hour foot massage, $25 for the whole body. But really, it was the hysterically great uses of “happy” and “relax” that sold me.

Let’s get something straight right off the bat. Since all of you dirty minded individuals are snickering, if this was a “special massage” joint where coconut oil flowed, there must have been a code word I didn’t know.

When I opened the door, the whole place was one large room with 12 massage tables all on the same floor. There were folks of both genders getting worked on out in the open by an all Asian staff. This wasn’t your serene day spa experience, it was training room style, similar to what I experienced playing for the Yomiuri Giants in Japan; mostly clothed, no-nonsense tissue work. We were gifted this experience daily before games. It was ritualistic as much as it was therapeutic. Make no mistake; the Japanese players depended on the practice to get them loose before competition and after to reduce soreness. From the New York Times:

Many people — both athletes and health professionals – have long contended it eases inflammation, improves blood flow and reduces muscle tightness.

My personal experience has been rather mixed, particularly as it relates to injuries. Over the course of my career, I was poked and prodded, kneaded and kneed. I toyed with deep tissue, MAT (Muscle Activation Technique), and foo foo Swedish massages all without tangible results related to the reduction of inflammation. The one thing I can say unequivocally, however, is that I felt less stressed post massage, and that in itself is worth the cost of admission. From the Daily Herald:

With stress being implicated in 60 percent to 90 percent of all illnesses, the associated medical costs are staggering. Almost half of the working population suffers from stress. In addition, half of all corporate medical costs are the result of stress, averaging more than $7,000 per employee, annually. Studies have shown that reducing stress can save more than 50 percent of these medical expenditures.

Well, then, get me on the table.

My massage at Happy Relax was good, not phenomenal. Mostly elbows and forearms, it included a stretch and some karate chop style pounding. Don’t trick yourself, though. For $25 plus a $10 tip on my card that I most certainly will write off as a business expense, I felt calmer upon exiting.

You’ll just have to wait for the “special massage” stories. I’m sure they’re just around the bend.

Kap