You all remember our know-it- all editor and partner at KL, Stephanie. She’s come around several times now riffing on random topics and generally dominating everything she does. Speaking of which, she told me in a recent email about her fish filleting experience. She was giddy. I asked her how it went.

Pretty well, actually. It was the first time I had ever tried filleting my own salmon…I don’t think I’ll be getting a job at Le Bernardin anytime soon, but I was pleased with the result. I made sashimi, cold smoked salmon, roasted salmon head/collar, and made miso soup out of the skeleton tonight. There are a couple of pounds curing in the fridge right now, and I’m going to butter poach some of it later on.

This is bullshit, right? Us normal folks bake salmon with a lemon in some foil or throw it on the grill. Why would she apply so much effort and elevate the risk of failure? Because she knows the upside is great and that’s what exceptional people do.

I had to hear more, so I requested some fleshing (see?) out. Of course, she delivered.

I enjoy cooking dinner for the family. What I don’t enjoy is monotony; making the same handful of dishes every few days saps my energy. During the summer, the offerings at the grocery store are plentiful, and I can always find something to inspire me. As we get into the colder months, it becomes a little harder - there are only so many times you can have braised meats.

Occasionally, however, the inspiration comes in the form of attempting new techniques. When the grocery store offered up a whole salmon, I couldn’t pass it up. I don’t usually spend my time breaking down whole fish…in fact, I’d never done so before, but I’m always up for a challenge.

You want a challenge, fillet a whale shark.

Luckily, my fish came gutted and scaled. I wouldn’t have minded having the organs, they would have made a nice meal for Lily, but scaling a 10 lb fish would require more tools than I have available. All I really needed to do was fillet it. A quick trip through YouTube gave me some idea of what I was about to get into.

Um, who the hell is Lily? C’mon, Steph. Would you let me get away with that? You’re famous and all, and have written about her in a post (5 months ago) but people don’t know if you have a pet cat, a dog or a spider monkey. Lily is Stephanie’s dog, folks.

I had a moment of reconsideration when I realized my fish was slightly larger than my biggest cutting board. I had a second moment of regret when I realized I don’t own a boning knife - the most flexible knife in the house is a knife designed for slicing Serrano ham. It was too late to back out however, so I set to work.

I started by removing the gills. I used a chef’s knife in the gill slits to cut down the spine, then worked the flexible knife along the backbone to the tail. I flipped the fish over and reversed the process. At the end, I had two large fillets of salmon, which I divided in half. A quick pass over to remove the pin bones, and the hard part was done.

Tell the truth, you Googled with key words, “how to filet fish,” right? Please tell me they didn’t teach you that in your behaviorism courses at Tulane.

I wanted to accomplish two things by buying a whole protein. First, I wanted to get creative and serve it in several different ways. Second, I wanted to use as much of it as possible, minimize my waste and maximize the value.

The fillets were easy to use. One was put aside for later cooking, one was sliced immediately to be served raw, one went onto the smoker to be done as cold-smoked, and one was covered in a salt mixture to cure.

The first meal was Asian inspired. I took the raw slices, along with eel and mackerel that I quick cured using the leftover curing spices, and served them as sashimi. The cold smoked salmon was sliced alongside. I added the spine of the salmon to my dashi for a rich miso soup. The skin went under the broiler for salmon “crackers.” The head and collar of the salmon was roasted with scallions, ponzu, and eel sauce. Meanwhile, Lily got the fins, tail and everything strained out of my miso soup base for her dinner.

Meal number two was a traditional Scandinavian style cured salmon. Sliced cured salmon with a variety of accompaniments was served in a “make your own” style.

By the third dinner, everyone was in the mood for something warm and filling. The last quarter of the salmon was butter poached and served over cannellini beans with chorizo, a citrus salsa, and grilled fennel.

Why do I feel like we will see our beloved Stephanie on Masterchef in the months to come? Calling my peeps at FOX now.

With only a little extra effort, I was able to create 3 very different meals for 4 people (plus leftovers for lunches and Lily’s meals too) by buying a whole protein. Even better, it was only $6/lb - about 1/3 of what a salmon fillet typically sells for. It is incredibly easy to fall into the rut of purchasing the same proteins every time you hit the grocery store. Branching out can be incredibly rewarding and leave you with a few extra dollars to spend elsewhere too.

I guess value at the margins isn’t good enough for Stephanie. She’s one-upped me again. What am I even here for?

Kap