You’ve heard me share my take on gifts. I dislike gifts given out of some sort of social obligation, but when I do receive gifts, music and food are my favorites.
The benefit of a gift, for me, is not in acquiring more stuff that I neither need nor want. It’s about cementing bonds with someone I care about. From Frank Flynn, professor at Stanford University:
We can strengthen our relationships by giving thoughtful gifts to those we care about, but we often lack the insight to do it well
To that end, I reconnected recently with an old teammate from 2004, Lenny DiNardo, who opened my eyes to some luscious listening. He shared something that I’ll use for the rest of my life. That’s not just value at the margins. Here’s our text exchange after he read about my affinity for the blues:
LD: Just looked over your site. Good stuff. I didn’t know you were into R. Johnson and JL Hooker.
Me: Love JLH, possibly my favorite artist. You?
LD: My musical taste is pretty eclectic. Grew up listening (via pops) to 60′ psychedelic, old delta blues, L. Armstrong, Django Reinhardt (gypsy finger style guitar) and Dylan and Dave Van Ronk
Me: Going to explore Django now.
LD: Do it!
I did. Here’s what I found:
Lenny gave me more:
LD:
Dave Van Ronk’s ridiculous on guitar. Definitely blues influenced and unique voice. B. Dylan slept on his couch when he first arrived in New York.
Oh and some of the best/funniest lyrics
Me: Wow.
LD: So good! You can tell he lived rough. Can’t fake that.
Gifts are as much about the giver as they are about the receiver. I’d take this bonding exchange over cool piece of technology or a tie or even a good bottle of Scotch. Giving gifts based around experiences instead of material possessions tends to make us happier. From Science Daily:
According to Chan and Mogilner’s research, the relationship improvements that recipients derive from experiential gifts stem from the emotion that is evoked when the gifts are consumed, not when the gifts are received. Giving experiential gifts is thus identified as a highly effective form of prosocial spending, and can have a greater impact on improving the relationship between the giver and receiver.
I’ll be listening to Reinhardt and Van Ronk for the rest of my days.
Thank you, Lenny.
Strong mind,
Kap
coinside says
two: Gaby Moreno
your welcome
Gabe Kapler says
Appreciate the tip, coinside.
Lien Pham says
music & food yes! …. “We can strengthen our relationships by giving thoughtful gifts to those we care about, but we often lack the insight to do it well” so true … thanks for sharing 🙂
Gabe Kapler says
Thanks for stopping by, Lien.
Stephanie St Amour says
One of the best aspects of sharing music, for me, is the opportunity to learn about someone else. What they listen to, and, more importantly, what they choose to share, is a window into their mind.