Working on our voices in the same manner we hone our posture, body language, and physical prowess may be prudent.
If you’ve been reading along, you know the importance we place on body language. It helps our confidence and our leadership. Rarely, however, does someone walk into a room and take over without ever saying a word.
People’s voices, along with the power (or lack thereof) with which they deliver their words, can teach us a ton. Like any other attribute, we are uniquely attracted to or repelled by said voices differently.
Intuitively, the sound of another’s voice can be overwhelming, calming, energizing or draining. Like any other impression, the first one matters. We can, of course, get past our initial reaction and learn more, but we can certainly mine information immediately.
Generally, we think of voice training in terms of women’s voices. They’re too soft spoken, too high pitched. However, the opposite is equally true. We’ve all been around the big, booming voice that feels just a little too loud for the room. I had a specific teammate years ago with this characteristic. You could literally hear – and feel – him coming before he entered your clubhouse space. Whether this was by design or not, it was irritating to me.
It is undeniably true, however, that the perception of another’s voice is subjective. While that individual’s voice may have been irritating for me, it might have inspired another.
This may be influenced by evolution. In the animal kingdom, the roar, bark, or howl has a purpose. Some sound strong, others are whiny and probably designed to repel. Dogs bark often, due to their domestication, while wolves, although they can, almost never use a bark. Just like in the animal kingdom, our choice of vocalizations is determined almost exclusively by our social surroundings.
We naturally use different volumes and deliveries at different times. Sitting on my balcony having a conversation with a friend, I organically choose a calmer tone. After (or during) a workout, with my adrenaline and hormone peaking, I’m likely to subconsciously choose a much different intonation. A heated debate may bring out more alpha behavior, and the “roar” may emerge. Often times, it’s too much and I need to consciously dial it back. It depends on my audience. Like all effective communication, I need to be aware of not only what I’m saying, but how I’m saying it.
By paying attention to our tone and volume, and by tailoring it to the space and mood, we respect our teammates and loved ones while being more present and aware.
Strong mind,
Kap
John Sgromolo says
Great post Kap.. As a former Dodgers minor leaguer and now high school head coach, this post strikes close to home in the importance of effective communication. In my opinion the best coaches are the best communicators. As you stated, it’s not always what you say, but how you present it. I learned from Shoe, that if you constantly bring a positive attitude to your organization, it starts everyone on equal footing moving in a positive direction. There is always a time to use the roar, be use sparingly, it will carry more weight when you do.
..when you go to Ogden tell Shoe hello for me. Go Dodgers.
-John Sgromolo
Gabe Kapler says
Awesome take, John. Thanks for stopping by.
bill says
Sorry about this, but it reminded me of a lesson learned in class that relates. It was a sports officiating class being taught by the school’s baseball coach. He often taught lessons through the use of anecdotes. On the subject of voice-for officials, obviously it needs to be confident, forceful, and without a hint of doubt, in part so that no one will question the call. He was playing in a major tournament in front of a big crowd (many years before instant replay), and had slid into third, sure that he was easily safe. The ump screamed “OUT!” While still lying on the ground, he pleaded, “Ump, I was safe by a mile!” The umpire replied- “Son, you know you were safe, and I know you were safe, but I just told 10,000 people you’re out. You’re out!”
Gabe Kapler says
Don’t apologize, Bill. Respect your input.
Lien Pham says
my natural voice is high pitched and i used to talk fast 🙂 but then i ran into an article a long time ago which mentioned this quote ‘talk slow, talk low’ (attributed to John Wayne, one of my favorite actors) as a way to convey thoughts more effectively and i kinda like it so this has become my speaking mantra 🙂 … but when i am excited, which happens quite often :-), i tend to go back to my natural voice again LOL … gotta to keeping working on this 🙂